Pineapple Salmon Slow Cooker Recipe (flop!)

When Adam and I were in our first year of marriage we lived in an apartment about a half-mile away from his brother and family. We were lucky enough to be invited over for dinner pretty often, and always happily accepted.

Adam's sister-in-law, Angela, is an excellent cook. Her family owns restaurants, and she's grown up in the kitchen and around food. I've always been quite impressed with the way she can open a fridge and just start throwing things together to make a really fantastic meal--- no recipe required.

She made us a salmon dinner one night (gosh, a good 12 years ago) that I still think about. It was the best salmon I have ever eaten. Ever.

ever.

She says she doesn't remember what she marinated the salmon in, but I knew pineapple juice was involved. and soy sauce.

I think.

I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to recreate this salmon. Last week I tried again.

It did not go so well.

The Ingredients.

(do NOT make this!)

4 salmon fillets

1 fresh pineapple, skinned and cubed

1 large orange, juiced

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

1/3 cup soy sauce (La Choy and Tamari wheat-free are gluten free)

2 cloves garlic, smashed 

1 teaspoon red chile flakes

aluminum foil

an outdoor garbage can

The Directions.

Use a 6-quart slow cooker (but not really. don't attempt to make this. please.) In a blender combine the pineapple, orange juice, balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, and chile flakes. Blend until you have a creamy sauce (the color will not be pretty. that should have set off some bells and whistles for me...)

Place the salmon fillets into a flat baking dish with high sides (a pyrex or corningware with a lid works best). Pour the sauce blend evenly over the top. Refrigerate your fish in the sauce for two hours or so (or don't. this tastes really bad and you shouldn't be doing any of this anyhow.)

After the time has elapsed, spread a length of foil out on your kitchen countertop. Place the fish inside (lots of the sauce will stay in the dish. this is fine. trust me,  you don't want the sauce.) and crimp the sides of the foil to make a fully enclosed packet. You can stagger-stack all the fish fillets to make one large packet with all of the fish, or you can wrap each fillet individually. 

Your choice.

Put the packet(s) into your crockpot and cook on high for 2 hours, or until the fish flakes easily with a fork.

Taste. 

Then take outside and throw away.

The Verdict.

The "finished" picture up top is taken on the brick outside by the garbage bins. Thankfully I made this the night before the garbage was picked up---

I've made fish in the crockpot dozens and dozens and dozens of times, and have NEVER had this happen. The fish smelled really really fishy (I think it was a weird chemical break-down with the vinegar?) and the sauce tasted just how it looked.

really, really bad.

We had baked potatoes for dinner instead.

still want fish? these are the good ones!

Salmon with Lime Butter

Sweet and Spicy Salmon

Cedar Planked Salmon

Jamaican Salmon

Orange Honey Tilapia

Parmesan Tilapia

My Totally Together: Shortcuts to an Organized Life book/planner hits bookstores today. You should get it! :-)

have a great day! have any flops? feel free to share!

Read More

Slow Cooker Chicken and Sweet Potato Southwestern Stew

I was playing in the garden yesterday and realized a bit before 2pm that I had forgotten about dinner, and scrambled to throw something in the slow cooker. This is a completely made-up clean-out-the-pantry meal. Wednesday is usually our leftover night, but I kind of ate all the leftovers in the house for lunch. oops.

The Ingredients.


4 frozen chicken breast halves (about 1 pound)
2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut in 2 inch chunks
1 (15-ounce) can baked beans
1 (6-ounce) can tomato paste
1 (4-ounce) can fire roasted diced chile (a last minute brainstorm!)
1/2 cup pineapple juice (leftover from the Easter Ham)

The Directions.

Use a 4 quart slow cooker. Put the chicken into your stoneware, and drop the sweet potato chunks on top. Add all the contents of the baked beans, tomato paste, and diced chile. Pour on the pineapple juice. Cover and cook on high for 4 hours, or on low for 6-8. Your stew is done when the chicken is cooked through and the the sweet potatoes are fork-tender.

The Vedict.

This is gross. Really gross. I think it's the tomato paste. I took a few bites to be a good sport, but could tell about 2 hours into it that this wasn't going to be a very good dinner. I thought maybe with some shredded cheese it could be palatable, but it just wasn't. The house smelled like burnt tomato stew, even though the tomato paste mixed with the pineapple juice and bean and chile liquid and there was plenty of moisture. It was just not good.

really bad.
really really really bad.

We ended up having McDonalds. I drove through in my slippers.

other memorable flops:

coconut chicken curry
fruit leather
bacon wrapped scallops
hard boiled eggs
roasted pumpkin seeds

Read More

CrockPot White Bean with Fennel and Spinach Soup Recipe

Day 365.

It's the 365th day of the year. But I'm going to post tomorrow---I didn't realize it was Leap Year when I started this project, and I have black eyed peas soaking to be turned into soup. When I made black eyed peas a year ago, I wasn't terribly impressed, but the soup recipe I have sounds pretty good.

Unlike this soup.

This soup is boring and bland and a waste of time. I should have known better. It came out of a little pamphlet of recipes. This was in the vegetarian slow cooker section. I thought we'd have a nice light meal so then we could eat a bunch of junk at New Year's without regret.

Instead, we each ate a bite or two and then made nachos. With extra sour cream.
and pizza fondue.

mmm.

The Ingredients.

--4 cups vegetable broth
--1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
--1 can (15-ounces) white kidney beans
--1 yellow onion, diced
--1 small bulb fennel, chopped
--2 cloves garlic, minced
--1/4 tsp black pepper
--1 bag (10 oz) baby spinach (to add later. but don't. don't waste your spinach. you shouldn't make this soup.)

The Directions.

Use a 5 quart or so crockpot. The best part of this whole thing was chopping the fennel. It makes your kitchen smell like a licorice factory, and provides great adult entertainment while the kids search for candy.

Combine everything into the crockpot except for the spinach. Cook on low for 8 hours, high for 6, then add the whole bag of spinach. It will wilt. It will look yummy. But there isn't any flavor.

I'm kind of annoyed at myself because I KNOW this! I know (just from this year. Before this year I was clueless) that if you put a bunch of bland stuff together the result will be bland and tasteless. But I did it anyway. I wanted this to work. I thought the picture was pretty.

The Verdict.

We've been having ants in the house because of the rain. I left the crock out overnight with the lid off. The ants didn't come.

This soup repels ants.

Read More

Making Fudge in the CrockPot

Day 339.

You can't make fudge in a crockpot. I've tried. Twice.

It just doesn't work.

I'm pretty disappointed.

When I started this year, I took it for granted that I'd be able to make fudge (a few different kinds!) in the crockpot. I even dreamt about it (I'm thinking this sounds weird, but I dream and day dream a lot---so it's really not weird if you know me. Eh. I guess maybe it is a bit weird. Whatever.)

We make fudge every year in our house, and it always works----but that's because Adam does it and he follows the directions and uses a candy thermometer. I hate following directions. But I also am quite bummed about this soupy fudge that I just fed to the garbage disposal.

Again.

Out of the 13 flops I've had this year, this one is the toughest for me. I really wanted this to work.

sigh.

I did find a totally awesome fudge recipe board, however: Skaarup Fudge.

Here's the Maple Ginger Fudge I was hoping would work:

--4 cups sugar (Baker's Sugar is great because the fine granules melt easily)
--1/2 cup butter
--3/4 cup maple syrup
--1 cup milk
--1 cup mini marshmallows
--1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts
--1 tsp vanilla extract
--1/4 tsp ground ginger

Instead of cooking this in the crockpot, cook it on the stove. Stir it around until it forms threads and reaches whatever temperature fudge is supposed to reach that evidently can't be reached in the crockpot.

Pour it into a prepared 9 x 9 pan (line your pan with parchment paper or Release foil. Pam doesn't seem to work well enough on fudge.)

Let it sit on the counter for about an hour to cool, then cool completely in the refgrigerator before cutting into 1-inch cubes.

The chocolate fudge recipe we always use is on the back of the jar of marshmallow fluff.

The Verdict.

I am so impressed with my kids. They've really put up with a lot this year, and have had a great sense of humor about the whole thing. They kept checking on the fudge not setting in the refrigerator, and reset the microwave timer a bunch of times so they could keep tabs. My seven-year-old told me, "the cooking science just didn't work, mom," and my four-year-old simply asked for a spoon. The reason the above picture is streaky is because we ate a bunch of the marshmallow that floated to the top.

My fingers are crossed that this is the last flop for the year.

other candy and fun snacks that DO work:
rice krispie treats
rocky road candy
peanut not-brittle candy
cracker jacks
nuts and bolts snack mix
chex mix

Read More